


Lost

by AngelynMoon



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Family Feels, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-02-29 02:06:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18768985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelynMoon/pseuds/AngelynMoon
Summary: Summary: Somewhere along the journey Bilbo gained a home and a family, and then at the very end he'd lost it all again.





	Lost

Summary: Somewhere along the journey Bilbo gained a home and a family, and then at the very end he'd lost it all again.

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It had been a secret, teaching him the letterings. Done late a night, when all the others had already gone to bed.

It had been Bofur's idea to start, begun with teaching Bilbo the signing that Bifur used since he'd thought it wasn't fair that Bilbo was the only one that couldn't understand Bifur.

Then as the weeks and months wore on, Bombur and Bifur both joined in on the teaching, Bombur teaching Bilbo the lettering that the Dwarrows used while Bifur began the spoken language.

It took Bilbo a bit to realize that the group had adopted him into their little family, made him a brother and cousin, though sometimes Bifur acted more fatherly towards him.

Bilbo found that he quite liked it, having a family again, it filled the aching loneliness that he hadn't noticed before. A loneliness that Bilbo only now realized had seeped into the very walls of Bag End.

It was almost strange how Bilbo's longing for him own home has lessened the closer they got to Erebor, the closer he got to the 'Urs. He hoped that gaining the Mountain would be easy.

He should not have jinxed it.

It was painful, watching his Dwarrow descend into Madness and Goldlust. One cannot eat gold, cannot use it to buy back family or friends when they are dead.

It was with those thoughts dancing in his head that Bilbo took the Stone that he'd discovered and hidden away, took it a traded it away, Stone for life, Bilbo would never regret that, not even if it got him killed.

It almost did, still might, Bilbo thought as he headed out into a battle that he was in no way prepared for. As he raced off to warn Thorin and Dwalin, Fili and Kili about the trap they were entering.

Only when he arrived it was much too late for warnings, too late for Fili, who was thrown from a cliff by Azof, too late for Kili, killed by Azog's son, and too late for Thorin who could not let Azog go after that.

Bilbo stayed to help Dwalin as Thorin raced after the Pale Orc that had taken his family from him, and for a few moments it seemed that they would hold their own, and then Bilbo felt something crash against his temple and then nothing for a long while.

When he woke Bilbo went searching, Thorin may not be his king, would never be his king, he was a Hobbit and Hobbits had no need of kings, but Thorin had become a friend, perhaps, had there been more time Bilbo may have even begun to count Thorin as family like he did the 'Urs and the rest of the Company.

But there was no time left, none at all when Bilbo found Thorin laying on the ice, he looked like a discarded rag-doll that Bilbo nieces had always favored. 

And for all the pain and betrayal that lay between them, that had broken what fragile bonds of friendship that had been growing, Bilbo could not leave Thorin there on the ice, cold and most assuredly dying, alone.

So, Bilbo had approached, had dropped beside him and taken his hand in his, grip weakening, , and Bilbo had never thought that he would wish otherwise.

And Bilbo listened, accepted an unnecessary apology, gave Thorin the forgiveness and absolution that he so clearly needed and begged him to hang on when he saw the Eagles flying overhead. But, for all that Bilbo was new to battles and their wounds, even Bilbo could tell that there was no saving Thorin, not even a Wizard could bring Thorin back now, and so, Bilbo cried and whispered that the Eagles were there, that everything was alright now, and Bilbo Held Thorin's hand as he drifted away to the Halls of Waiting.

It was alright now, Bilbo thought as he sobbed, alright for Thorin to go, Azog was dead, the battle won, Erebor under Dwarrow rule once more. There was no reason for Thorin to remain, to hold on, really, Kili and Fili were dead, gone before him and waiting for his arrival, someone would take the Throne of Erebor and restore her to former glory, Bilbo knew that the COmpany would make sure of that.

Bilbo turned back to Thorin's still body, and found himself brushing the blood caked hair from his forehead, as he had done for many of the young ones that he had watched overnight for his cousins and various family members, found himself pressing his lips to Thorin's forehead gently.

"Go in peace, Thorin Oakenshield, King of Erebor, you may rest now, you are home." Bilbo whispered in the Ancient Khuzdul that Bifur had been teaching him, it felt right to saw the words in the Dwarrow language.

But Bilbo could not leave Thorin alone, not yet, he had to stay, stay until they came for him.

Thorin did not deserve to be alone anymore.

Walking away from Erebor after Thorin and Fili and Kili were lain to rest was hard, leaving the 'Urs behind was hard, but Bilbo could not stay and they would not leave, this was their home now, just as Bag-End was his. 

Perhaps they would travel back to the Blue Mountains one day, perhaps they'd stop by for tea and stay awhile. But Bilbo knew, he knew, somewhere in his heart that he'd never return to Erebor, that this would be the last of the Lonely Mountain that he'd ever see, the last of his Dwarrow that he'd ever see.

And Bilbo went home, home to his books and his doilies and his lonely, quiet Hobbit home.

And if, in the dark of night he wrote letters with Dwarvish Runes some addressed to the dead king of Erebor, others to friends far away and much to busy, well, that was certainly his own business, it wasn't like there would be anyone that could read them.

The letters were kept hidden away, like the knowledge that Bilbo was not meant to have, never sent, never read, but always precious.

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A/N: Lost the point there at the end. I'm so used to writting Bagginshield and this story was supposed to be Gen with 'Ur family feels.

So it's ended here before I try to go back and rework it as a Bagginshield fic, sorry if the ending is a bit choppy.


End file.
